The Jiraiya Chronicles
by Kage Sannin
Summary: One day a boy was born for greatness. Did we mention that he's a hentai, has an evil rivalteammate that looks like a snake, a teamate who's flat chested, and a load of enemies and friends who want to get in his pants? Didn't think so. YAOI OroJira


Kage Sannin: I have now started my second fanfiction yay!!!! I'm so happy....

Itachi: .......

Kage Sannin: Since this is a Naruto fanfiction my two favorite characters from the show shall say the disclaimer with me.

Kage Sannin: This fanfiction was originally supposed to be my first, but I found this idea too hard at the time I signed up and decided to go with Card Captor Hiei as my first instead.

Kage Sannin: This fiction is also Jiraiya centric which is quite unusual as most people just regard him as a secondary character. Coupled with an unusual pairing only serves to make it more unique. It also is the first serial story on Jiraiya and the sannins that I know of, so uniqueness is abound!!! Hahahaha....

Itachi: Don't you mean weird?

Kage Sannin: Same thing, either way conformity will be the death of me so nyeh.

Kage Sannin: It's sort of obvious on how the stats of the team will go later on. Jiraiya is Naruto's equivalent, Orochimaru is Sasuke's, and Tsunade is Sakura's.

Kage Sannin: blinks several times

Kage Sannin: This formation turns up every few generations doesn't it? Like with Kakashi's team, and our team...

Kage Sannin: Except, I guess I'm Naruto's equivalent, and the Sakura on our team is nonexistent.

Itachi: Figures....

Kage Sannin: I guess you actually have a reason to be here this time so it would be dumb to yell.

Jiraiya: appears

Naruto: appears

Kage Sannin: And here are my two favorite characters!!! My teacher and my student! HAHAHAHAHAHA!!!!

Naruto: So you're doing a fanfiction on Ero Sennin?

Jiraiya: Call me Jiraiya.

Kage Sannin: YES!!!

Naruto: laughs Why would you want to do a fanfiction on Ero Sennin?

Kage Sannin: Because he is one of my favorite anime characters of all time!!! Besides you Naruto kun. You two are my favorites!!!

Naruto: Ok, I sort of get that.

Kage Sannin: Like I said before in the summary the pairing is OrochimaruxJiraiya, the characters may be ooc so point it out if you see it.

Kage Sannin: I will have to warn you though, there will be oc's in this story, and while I happen to hate oc's, I had no choice but to create some for this story as there are a lack of characters from the sannin's childhood besides the sannins themselves.

Kage Sannin, Naruto, and Jiraiya: YOSH!!!

Kage Sannin, Naruto, and Jiraiya:

**Disclaimer: Kage Sannin does not own Naruto or any of it's characters so stop whining.**

Kage Sannin: Fanfiction, START!!!

Heeeeeere's Jiraiya!

It was the morning of November 11. A baby boy had just been born in the village of Konahagakure on a beautiful sunny day with clouds in the sky. His parents happily stood by each other as they gazed upon their new son. The baby boy had white hair and red lines running down from his eyes and was sleeping in a cradle in the sunshine. The couple both knew without a doubt that their child would have great things waiting for him. And as they continued to gaze on their baby boy who was sleeping peacefully in the sunshine, they knew that he would become a great shinobi perhaps one of the greatest. And they were right, he would. But several other facts of what he was to become might disturb their high hopes and perfect happiness. So perhaps, it was for the best for their sanity that what they _didn't_ know was that their kid was going to be the insanity of the village, have a mother complex, and the village's biggest loudmouth as well as the biggest-

"HENTAI!!!" screamed a girl's voice. A boy with spiky white hair cackled as he jumped through the streets with a livid crowd of females pursuing him. The boy turned around to face them while continuing to jump through the roof tops of the village. The boy was wearing a very pale light blue/grey robe with green cloth decorated with a yellow circular pattern lining the front and collar, and a red cloth lining his sleeves and the bottom of his robe in a wave like pattern. This was worn over a black fishnet shirt with red lining, and baggy black pants that went down to his knees where a black band surrounded each of his legs, his feet were wearing the traditional Japanese sandals. The boy had clear black eyes with red lines coming down from them. He looked about twelve and had a face that could easily be considered babyish but the perverted grin on his face was anything but.

"JIRAIYA!!! IF YOU KNOW WHAT'S GOOD FOR YOU YOU'LL STOP RIGHT NOW!!!" screamed one of the girls pursuing him. Jiraiya stuck out his tongue, grinned cheekily at the girls chasing him and said in an innocent tone while continuing to jump backwards "Why? Did I do something wrong?" One of the girls who had light green hair screamed "DON'T ACT ALL INNOCENT, YOU KNOW PERFECTLY WELL WHAT WE'RE TALKING ABOUT!!!" Jiraiya put on an innocent face to go with his innocent tone which some how screamed mischievous and put his hands to his chest in a gesture of "who me?" and said "I was just going for a walk when you girls decided to chase me." Another girl with brown hair screamed "YOU WERE IN THE GIRL'S LOCKER ROOM YOU PERVERT!!!" Jiraiya feigned surprise and said "was I?" "WHY ELSE WOULD WE CHASE YOU?!!" Jiraiya smirked and said "maybe you couldn't resist my charm or good looks." "BAKA HENTAI!! YOU'RE GOING TO DIE!!! NO WONDER YOU'RE THE DUNCE OF THE VILLAGE!!!" Jiraiya scowled but replaced it with a grin and yelled "I'm not going to die unless you catch me first!"

With that said he turned tail and continued to flee from the crowd of furious females at an increasing rate. The crowd had just passed by a fence and out of sight when Jiraiya suddenly emerged from the fence with the cloth that had camouflaged him and walked away in the other direction humming. He continued to walk in a proud stride looking very self satisfied and said "I shall never be caught, FOR I AM A MOST EXCELLENT SHINOBI!!" He continued to walk but stopped dead at the sight of the crowd of females cracking their knuckles and glaring at him. "Ummm," said Jiraiya looking scared. "Hi?" They continued to crack their knuckles while smiling sinisterly. "Uh oh," said Jiraiya looking more and more scared as the angry crowd of females approached. "TIME TO DIE!!!" Several birds took off as screams of pain, punches, and kicks, rang through the air.

Jiraiya sat in a tree with many cuts and bruises and was wincing slightly. His hand was glowing with a white aura and he passed it slowly over his injuries making them disappear. He said to himself "maybe actually _going_ into the locker room wasn't the best idea I've had." He heaved a large sigh as he continued to heal his injuries. "But nobody's caught me at peeking yet, so that strategy seems to be safe when it comes to spying at babes." His face went slightly red as he grinned in one of his trade mark perverted fashions and said "maybe I'll visit the hot springs later." "Hey," said a voice from below. Jiraiya looked down to see a tall, handsome boy with neatly cut short dark blue hair, brown eyes, and a stern expression looking up at him. He was wearing his forehead protector on his right arm. "Kei?" said Jiraiya as he was swinging his legs. He glared at him with an annoyed expression and said "what do you want?" Kei continued to stare passively at him and said "you're supposed to be on a mission right now." Jiraiya yelled while waving his arms around quickly in the tree "I got side tracked, so sue me ya bastard!" Kei smiled faintly at his childish antics and pouting face and said "you had better hurry up, those rank D and C missions aren't going to finish themselves." Jiraiya groaned and said "I'm going, I'm going." He jumped off the tree gracefully but tripped immediately after on a stone and lay twitching on the floor as Kei said "how did _you_ become a gennin at age six?" "Shut up," muttered Jiraiya as he picked himself up, dusted himself off, and ran off. Kei gazed after him, shook his head, and walked away.

Jiraiya scowled and walked around in a forest while muttering "stupid dogs where are you...." Jiraiya then suddenly yelled frantically while running around in circles "WHERE ARE YOU YOU STUPID DOGS!!! COME OUT SO I CAN GO FINISH THE REST OF MY MISSIONS AND GO PEEKING IN THE HOT SPRINGS!!!" His screams disturbed several large dogs that were hiding in the bushes causing them to jump up from their sleep and start glaring at Jiraiya. Jiraiya grinned cheekily and said "_there_ you are!" They started to growl at him and bear their teeth. "Um, guys?"

Several moments later Jiraiya was running through the woods with four large angry dogs on his tail. Jiraiya was screaming "GET AWAY FROM ME YOU DAMN DOGS!!! GET AWAY!!!" AHHHHHHH!!!!!" He continued to run for his life as the dogs snapped at his heels. Several moments later he was at the Inuzuka clan buildings looking very bedraggled with the four dogs bound and gagged hand and foot (or rather paw and paw but that's not the point) He rang the door bell and said wearily as a woman opened it "here are your dogs lady." The woman squealed "Muffin, Buttons, Cookie, Cupcake!" and grabbed the horrified and feebly struggling dogs with super human strength and slammed the door in his face without even saying thanks. Jiraiya stared at the door and said "those dogs were bastards but even they don't deserve that."

It was night now, and Jiraiya made his way to his house. Jiraiya dragged himself through the streets covered in bruises, cuts, and a considerable soreness in his arms, legs, and his back. He moaned and said "first dogs, then wolves, then kitchen duty, then weeding, then trash picking, then shopping, then acting as a temporary servant for a load rich snobs, then fighting bandits for said rich snobs without even a thank you, and then having to hunt down a stupid deranged _cat_. This has not been my day." Jiraiya had a stream of anime tears going down his face as he said "I didn't even have time to go peek at the girls." Jiraiya then scowled and fumed saying "why can't Sarutobi sensei give me the good missions instead of the lackey work." Jiraiya reached his house and unlocked the door while muttering "I bet his favorite student _Orochimaru_ was given better missions."

He stepped into his dark house and turned on the lights. He walked by a picture of a happily smiling couple, one a handsome man with brown hair, the other a pretty woman with short white hair. As Jiraiya sat in the kitchen munching on some bread absentmindedly one would probably wonder where his two parents were, as the house was clearly empty and ninja or not, he was only twelve years old. The answer is his parents both died in a mission when he was one year old, leaving him completely alone in the world. Orphans usually develop strange traits in their isolation, some are introverted and quiet, some timid as heck, some shy, some loud, some thirsty for attention. Through many years of living alone as an orphan for Jiraiya however, has made him become a perverted loud mouth with a very strong mother complex. Yes I said a very strong mother complex. What is a mother complex? I'm not sure, but for heaven's sake don't ever get him a pet.

After taking a shower and getting into his light blue pyjamas a white fuzz ball print he climbed into bed. He tossed one way and turned another, and then got fed up and made a huge commotion in his blankets trying to find a comfortable spot. In the end, he only succeeded in getting tangled up in his blankets. He gave up on trying to free himself from the blankets and lay in his bed thinking "_tomorrow is when we meet with our teams for the first time. It's also the first time I can do something besides a D ranked or C ranked mission." _He continued thinking _"we could have met with our teams and started those missions a long time ago but Sarutobi sensei thought that even through we're the genius's of our classes we shouldn't start those missions as six year olds." _Jiraiya frowned and thought "_Orochimaru and Tsunade probably couldn't handle those but I could have. Why are they my team mates anyway? Sarutobi sensei knows that I hate Orochimaru and Orochimaru hates me. _His final thoughts as he fell asleep were_ "Besides that bastard would probably just slow me down_."

Kage Sannin: It's definitely safe to say that I'm not satisfied with this first chapter. I wish I could have developed it more, but with the distractions in the background it really couldn't have turned out better.

Itachi: is sleeping ..

Kage Sannin: props him up with pillows and continues

Kage Sannin: One question that people would have is "how can Orochimaru and Jiraiya get together when Jiraiya is obviously straight and they hate each other's guts?"

Kage Sannin: The thing is Jiraiya may be an undeniable hentai, but it's just for fun. Jiraiya is actually pretty innocent in those manners cough cough as in he may _know_ about all that stuff, but he has absolutely no experience in the matter and no wish to find out. Orochimaru though he hates Jiraiya at first falls in love with him as time goes on and they grow closer. Jiraiya takes a while to realize this however, but undeniably also grows closer to him as time passes and the bonds between them grow stronger.

Kage Sannin: As I said in the summary Orochimaru will not be the only one trying for Jiraiya's love. Many other guys will be as well. Oc's all of them. They're there mostly for comedic and romantic purposes (as well as the whole parody of how most of the gennin boys of Konoha are in love with Naruto) , and to move the story onwards.

Kage Sannin: If you have any questions or comments please review. If however, you just want to flame me for the pairing or something stupid like that I will douse oil on you and use them to start a bonfire while laughing at your pitiful demise. _Chripy _Kay?

Kage Sannin: Orochimaru, Tsunade, and Sarutobi will all appear in the next chapter if anyone is wondering.

Kage Sannin: OrochimaruxJiraiya ROCKS!!!

Kage Sannin: The next chapter of this fanfiction will appear sometime this week so watch out for it.

Kage Sannin: So please review and see ya next time!!!

Itachi: falls over with a thud still asleep


End file.
